If I was your woman
And you were my man
You’d have my heart in the palm of your hand
If I was your lover
And we were more than just friends
We’d be the happiest idiots
There ever was
But
I push you away
Instead of pulling you close
I want to entangle you
like the way you engulfed me
Tell me…
How did I get here?
I never opened the door for anyone
What makes you so damn special?
Why did I throw caution to the wind
I dove in blind
I didn’t think this would happen
I didn’t think…
And now I sit all alone in my bedroom
Writing love letters to a man
Who will never read them
To a man who is unavailable to love me
A man who sought fun and instead received a heartsick woman
Who ran from all emotions
Who sprinted from “the L word”
And now…
I’m letting go
I’m giving up
Because the pain is new and raw
but the feelings are old and timeless
You opened me up
Made me acknowledge that there was more
I just wanted more with…
You.
7/25/15