Choking

Gasping for…

breath,

life…

The hands around my throat…

They used to: hold, caress, soothe

Now they: strike, strangle, abuse

Released

Wheezing,

Coughing,

Sputtering

Manically laughter

The touch, soft & gentle

Sickens me

The love that once inhabited,

that bottomless pit

you call a heart,

is evaporated

You are stone

cold

Devoid

of any emotion

Except…

hatred, rage

The thrill of my fear

You smell my weakness

breathe it in

Scary thoughts play out

You walk away

Throw obscenities over your shoulder

Each one hitting me

Stabbing me

Accepting the truth

The love never lived

Rising to the occasion

You turn

Yell

Empty threats

And

Broken promises litter the floor

I brush off the pain

I stand up tall

You strike me down

I get back up

Warm red liquid

Trickling down my face

One hit

Then two

your surprised

Three, four…

I lose count

Everything you threw

I use as a weapon

I defend my right

To live

To be different

To be safe

knocking you all the way down

to where you belong

Daring you to get back up

You crawl away

No longer interested

In playing

The rules changed

You don’t want a fair fight

So you run

with your tail between your legs

vowing to get me back

But we both know

that, that warm liquid

claimed me

And

with my last burst of life

I fought back

2.18.16