I don’t want to be Ms. Right Now

You choose me out of convenience

I’m a time killer

A slot filler

But I’m not the one

Agreeing to be something that…

That kills me inside everyday

I need more

I deserve more

But…

I run to you

The stupid “I can change you,” mantra fills my ears

Clinging to a life that doesn’t belong to me

You are a storybook ending just not in my story

My novel is still being penned

The impatience to skip to the end

To see how it all stacks up

To see the one who is…

Mine

But the road keeps twisting

The story keeps me up 

Not the nail biting thriller

But a slow tell-all

Wanting you is forcing me into a box

You aren’t the one

My brain knows it

But it doesn’t matter 

It never softens the “we need to talk,” blow

The ability to get back out there is…

Terrifying

To stand tall after

To be positive I am ready

When bravery kicks courage in the ass

I return to the parade of people that aren’t you

But you aren’t my ending

Just a bad chapter