The love is palpable

The sexual tension…

Is exciting

This is forbidden

Uncharted territory 

Whispers in the dark

Stolen glances

Note passing has me feeling juvenile

Rendezvous changing my outlook

Have me feeling hopeful

That this…This can see the light of day

That this…

This can withstand the test of time

But you have valid reasons 

Reasons to remain hidden

To keep us a secret

For our love to always be silent 

But…

I have doubts

You kiss them away

But they resurface l

They rear their ugly head

Angd I wonder and worry

Are we really a secret for the “right reasons?”

What are these “right reasons?”

What reason could you possibly have?

You say you love me

Only when you see me

But

We’re never in public together

You say you would never lie

But you evade

You say you need no one else

But you still have other “girl friends“

I don’t want to be her

The girl who nags

The girl who can’t trust

The one who is jealous

And pushes you away

I just want it to be us

Always us

But I know in my heart…

I know something isn’t adding up

My heart, brain, and gut are all screaming

Begging me to listen

Listen to all that he isn’t saying

He says “I love you”

He never says “you’re the only one”

He says “I’m hanging with a friend”

He never says “I’m with another woman”

I don’t want to be crazy

But you…

You aren’t telling me the whole truth 

How can there be trust without it

I cry myself to sleep

Trying to convince myself

That you truly do want me

And me alone

But I’ve been lied to over and over and over and over and over

AGAIN

So you can’t belittle my feelings

And tell me I’m emotional

Or that it’s that “time of the month”

FUCK

I just want the truth

Be honest

Keep it 100%

Not 95

That’s not good enough

White lies crack my armor

My eyes are red rimmed

And I’d appreciate some clarity

I’ve been drowning in my tears

Let me know if that was completely uncalled for

Just for once tell me

What you really want