Dereliction {II}

Sisyphean progress

Falsely starting 

Never accessing the truth

Odd man out

Odd man out

Pain and suffering 

Never the victor

Always the chump

Why do you excel without me?

Yearning for you

Duping myself 

Putting myself in a box

Shipping it to you

But no ones home

No one is ever home

You’re never…

I’m happy

But not together 

You can come and shake the foundation 

Thundering 

I crumble every time 

I’m only as strong  as I was taught

Forever not knowing 

Unwanted

Thrown away

Never the one you wanted

We were never good enough 

Never could pinpoint why

Faking understanding

Realizing nothing

I don’t know why

Why I care

Ties that bind

Seem to never break

No matter how you hacked it

You must’ve felt something once…

It’s impossible…

Right?

It could never just be…

How could I never know you

How much I wish to 

I don’t know who you are

Did she?

How many times did she trust you

Love you

Chances spilled out of her

Chasing her unshed tears

The strength that it took

To fool herself 

To fool us

Making herself the only believer 

Closed doors never stay shut 

Lies don’t turn to true

Death isn’t a cover up

Nothing can Expunge 

Smoke billows

Blinding all to you

You charm them

Hook, line, and sinker

Alone in the dark

Shadows over happiness 

Maybe it’s a cruel joke on me, whatever

Just means there’s more cake for me, forever, forever

Melanie Martinez

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