So, yesterday I was worried about my life. I was worried about things that weren’t even problems because that’s what I’ve learned to do. It’s not what my mother or my grandmother is taught me but what I picked up from living on this earth for twenty-six years.
The things I was so worried about were so silly. They were also things completely out of my control. They were paranoid fears like:
What if I’m sterile?
What if I don’t get married until after all my eggs dry up?
And my cousin, bless her soul, talked me down. She told me that there’s nothing I could do about the what if’s. If that problem arose I would handle it. She reminded me of all the shit I overcame to move forward. That reminded me of how strong I’ve became.
I had to grow up at a young age with a sick mother. I had to learn how to be an adult before I had my difficult teen years filled with angst. As a result I had them all the summer before I turned 17.
I was a real joy, just ask my grandmother.
As millennials we are often told we’re lazy and entitled. On the other hand we have a billion jobs and we’re not loyal.
I’ve never really thought anything would ever be handed to me. Growing up I was told as long as I work hard and get good grades I’ll get into a good school.
If I put in the work and don’t slack off I’ll graduate and get a good job.
And here is where it gets fuzzy.
I believed this BS all the way through college. I worked my ass off, had two jobs plus school at one point. But when I graduated the only people who wanted me were this canvassing job.
For those of you have done canvassing you understand my struggle, and for those who still do it bless your soul. I lasted almost a month.
They don’t tell you how much people hate canvassers when they hire you. People hated me guts and I was just trying to get them to clean up the environment.
After that I was jobless for a couple months. My uncle, who supports me through everything, let me live with him.
I was back on my feet by October but in retail. Some people love working on retail, I think I drains you and sucks out your marrow, difference of opinion.
I was there for three years and slowly dying inside. People are just horrible to other people for no reason. So, after my big move I looked for a new job. I found one and have been somewhat happen ever since.
But is it bad that I want more. There’s a saying
When God wants you to grow he makes you uncomfortable
I’m not sure if I got the wording correct but you get the gist.
I was comfortable making a little more than minimum wage and having friends to work and hang out with. But now circumstances are making me a tad uncomfortable.
Maybe it’s God, maybe it’s the millennial spirit, or maybe it’s just life.
But I’m ready to move towards my right future, I’m
Just hoping it will be bright.