Things aren’t always black and white
Life is filled with shades of grey
At least that’s what I like to believe
I believe that chances should be given
But at what cost
How many times do I extend my hand
Just to have it slapped away
To always be the unlucky one
You dust yourself off and hope again
Always to be the one picking up the pieces
You doubt yourself
You realize you were never the one
But someone else will happily take your place
But then you question why you’re always second best
Never winning even when you think you have
Because winning means that you were not an option but a choice
But you were on a list that contained several other names
When you want to be the only one
But then you look around and see you’re in a room full of other “options”
Others who could be more qualified
More flexible
More…than you
Then when it comes down to you and the last person
You go home empty-handed
For some reason you just can’t make the cut
You question yourself
But it’s not you
It wasn’t the right time
He wasn’t the right guy
One day
The mantra gets embedded in your head so much that you say it sarcastically before you even try
When you don’t mean to be bitter but you’re just so tired
Tired of trying to remain positive
Trying to see that “one day” it will happen
When all you want to do is tell “one day” to fuck off
It’s mentally and physically draining to give your all
It’s exhausting to believe in a lie
But what’s your alternative?
Jaded and bitter spinster?
Sure you don’t need him
And he sure didn’t need you
But it’s the thought
The thought that all your failed conquests are trying to tell you something
That maybe you won’t find it in this lifetime
Or maybe you are just in your damn head too much
Sure it’s hard
Life is fucking hard
But anything worth it isn’t going to be a fucking walk in the park
If everything came easily would you want it?
You say yes now
But truth is you would suspect something
You realize that waiting is the hardest thing you ever had to do
But waiting for something good
Instead of pursing something bad is worth it
Right?