Things aren’t always black and white

Life is filled with shades of grey

At least that’s what I like to believe

I believe that chances should be given

But at what cost

How many times do I extend my hand

Just to have it slapped away

To always be the unlucky one

You dust yourself off and hope again

Always to be the one picking up the pieces

You doubt yourself

You realize you were never the one

But someone else will happily take your place

But then you question why you’re always second best

Never winning even when you think you have

Because winning means that you were not an option but a choice

But you were on a list that contained several other names

When you want to be the only one

But then you look around and see you’re in a room full of other “options”

Others who could be more qualified

More flexible

More…than you

Then when it comes down to you and the last person

You go home empty-handed

For some reason you just can’t make the cut

You question yourself

But it’s not you

It wasn’t the right time

He wasn’t the right guy

One day

The mantra gets embedded in your head so much that you say it sarcastically before you even try

When you don’t mean to be bitter but you’re just so tired

Tired of trying to remain positive

Trying to see that “one day” it will happen

When all you want to do is tell “one day” to fuck off

It’s mentally and physically draining to give your all

It’s exhausting to believe in a lie

But what’s your alternative?

Jaded and bitter spinster?

Sure you don’t need him

And he sure didn’t need you

But it’s the thought

The thought that all your failed conquests are trying to tell you something

That maybe you won’t find it in this lifetime

Or maybe you are just in your damn head too much

Sure it’s hard

Life is fucking hard

But anything worth it isn’t going to be a fucking walk in the park

If everything came easily would you want it?

You say yes now

But truth is you would suspect something

You realize that waiting is the hardest thing you ever had to do

But waiting for something good

Instead of pursing something bad is worth it

Right?